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"Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt." Howard Aiken 4.3571 average rating  
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair." George Burns 4.0526 average rating  
"The Congress will push me to raise taxes, and I'll say no, and they'll push and I'll say no, and they'll push again. And all I can say to them is read my lips: No New Taxes." George Herbert Walker Bush 3.6667 average rating  
"How much money did you make last year? Mail it in. [suggestion for a simplified tax form]" Stanton Delaplane 4.4286 average rating  
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax." Lord Thomas Robert Dewar 4.2500 average rating  
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." Albert Einstein 4.6364 average rating  
"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." Benjamin Franklin 4.5405 average rating  
"I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money." Arthur Godfrey 5.0000 average rating  
"Only the little people pay taxes." Leona Helmsley 4.0000 average rating  
"Taxes are the price we pay for civilization." Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. 4.6532 average rating  
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages." Henry Louis Mencken 3.0000 average rating  
"I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes." Mark Twain 4.2000 average rating  
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep." Will Rogers 5.0000 average rating  
"Friends and neighbors complain that taxes are indeed very heavy, and if those laid on by the government were the only ones we had to pay, we might the more easily discharge them; but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride, and four times as much by our folly." Benjamin Franklin 4.6667 average rating  
"Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?" Author Unknown 4.5000 average rating  
"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women." Author Unknown 5.0000 average rating  
"Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension." Author Unknown 5.0000 average rating  
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it." Author Unknown  
"The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them." Author Unknown 4.6000 average rating  
"Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there. I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture")." Dave Barry 5.0000 average rating  
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Browse Taxes quotes by Author:
Albert Einstein Arthur Godfrey Author Unknown
Benjamin Franklin Dave Barry George Burns
George Herbert Walker Bush Henry Louis Mencken Howard Aiken
Leona Helmsley Lord Thomas Robert Dewar Mark Twain
Oliver Wendell Holmes Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Stanton Delaplane
Thomas Jefferson Thomas Paine Will Rogers


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